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Accidental Dad, by Joshua McDowell
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Joshua McDowell is a single father on a mission. He believes being a parent is the most rewarding experience in the world. For that reason, he wants you to help him change the family court system. Each year, millions of children grow up in fatherless homes, resulting in teen pregnancies, school dropouts, depression, and suicides. In Accidental Dad, McDowell talks frankly about his own fatherless childhood.
Each child wants, needs, and deserves to grow up with a strong relationship with both parents, but those parents have to be there for the right reasons. McDowell is not an expert in conventional terms, with qualifying degrees to counsel others, but he knows how it felt to grow up without his father, and he also knows how it feels for a single father to have to deal with the court system that can make a father feel worthless.
He worked on this book for several years and eventually sought a professional writer to help him bring his experiences and reflections to readers. He shares firsthand information about our family courts to provide a clear understanding of the bias in courts across this country against fathers who want custody of their children.
Joshua McDowell is handing us all a challenge. Help McDowell change the world, and help bring loving, caring, good fathers back to the head of household! This book will even help those young boys who are thinking about having sex to wait. They certainly can learn from the author's mistakes of having a baby too young and dealing with the court system.
Author_Bio: Contrary to popular belief, single fathers are getting the short end of the stick. I dedicate this book to all single fathers who truly love their children and want to be a major part of their lives. My son is my life. Without a doubt, I would give up my life for him. That's how much I love him, yet there were days in court when I would get so frustrated, so angry, and so tired of battling the bias against fathers – against me – that I was almost willing to walk away from it all. Fortunately I didn't, and neither should you. Never give up hope.
I also dedicate this book to my smart and wonderful son. I love you, my buddy boy, with all my heart. I want you to learn from my mistakes. I tell my story here for you as well as for other dads, for family court judges, and for those lawyers and social workers who sincerely care for families and want to make the lives of children living with single moms a whole lot better.
Keywords: Child Support. Custody, Visitation, Fathers Rights
- Sales Rank: #1324539 in eBooks
- Published on: 2016-01-19
- Released on: 2016-01-19
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
"Every established system has its persistent flaws, regardless of how often or eagerly they're pointed out. In Accidental Dad, Joshua McDowell presents his case against the treatment of single fathers in a tangled system seemingly designed to make them fail. McDowell takes readers through his story from start to finish, where he successfully joined the small percentage (6-11%) of single fathers who fought for custody and actually won. He offers this unique perspective in an unadulterated form, revealing his intimate details of teenage fatherhood, the pain of accusations and doubts, the loss of innocence, the swelling of fatherly pride, and the deep-seated frustration with a system he claims is largely biased against paternal custody. From the heartfelt and brutally honest Acknowledgements section, we see McDowell laying himself bare, which prepares us for his vivid, sincere accounts of life as a teenager with a child of his own. The adult voice of the author, however, peppers in facts, statistics, and anecdotes that provide depth and context for the story of his youth, and the deeper we go into the book, the more we begin to understand both the author and the underlying societal issues he's trying to explain. While this book is largely directed at the struggles of single fathers, it is also an indictment of a country plagued by broken homes, faulty welfare systems, and a general lack of support from authorities to ensure the safety and protection of individuals and families, regardless of age, marital status, or wealth. The level of sentimentality between the chapters switches drastically at times, with some relying on the power of a contributor's story, and others delving deeper into his personal struggles and successes as a young father. At times, there are moments of "Woe is me," but the personal accounts that he and others share are powerful and undeniable. In other words, he puts his proof where his prose is. Whenever the narrative flow begins to lean towards opinions or personal diatribes, hard facts and statistics bring the reader back to center, and we realize that this is far more than a personal story, but a clarion call for change that could affect hundreds of thousands of people, both now and into the future. The book shifts from personal memoir to proffered advice about halfway through, with great tips and strategies for handling courts and judges, financial obstacles, and "mothers' dirty tricks". This is far from a how-to guide though; it is a behind-the-scenes confessional, legal advice handbook, and a motivational speech all rolled into one, making it very hard to put down. Like binge-watching a new television show, every chapter brings us deeper into McDowell's life, and more invested in how his story will eventually play out. While the advice and insight McDowell provides might not be useful for every reader, this book is ultimately about belief: the belief that good men can change a broken system if they work together, that societal assumptions can be shifted, and that the love between a father and his child can overcome any obstacles. Overall, McDowell writes with compassion and engaging sincerity, while still delivering a useful and professionally-penned guide to life as a single father." -SPR Self Publishing Review selfpublishingreview.com/2016/02/review-accidental-dad-by-joshua-mcdowell/
"This story from a single dad about combating the court system for custody is moving and inspirational.
Single fathers are getting the short end of the stick in the United States family court system, Ohio writer JoshuaMcDowell argues in his new book, Accidental Dad. Combining substantial research with numerous anecdotes, McDowell makes a compelling case that the legal system works against single fathers seeking custodial rights of their children.
Accidental Dad is a semipolemical self-help memoir. It recounts McDowell's childhood, the psychological effects of losing his own father at a young age, the birth of his son when he was a senior in high school, and the years-long battle for sole custody of his son that followed. Research is cited throughout to support the book's underlying thesis: family court systems have an ingrained bias in favor of mothers and against fathers, particularly unmarried single fathers.
Much of the research is authoritative, including statistics from the US Department of Health and Human Services and the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. The book highlights the breakdown of traditional family structures, the negative effects of fatherless homes on children, and how biased courts reinforce these trends.
A few references are less than stellar, however. Fatherhoodfactor.com, for instance, is a blog that's treated as a primary source. One chapter uses urbandictionary.com to define "baby mama drama," degrading the book's tone into talk-show territory.
That same chapter, "An Angry Mother's Dirty Tricks," is the book's greatest weakness. Allegations of dirty tricks during McDowell's custody battle, including accusations of physical violence,throw readers into the middle of a personal and ugly conflict without information or testimony from the other side. The book could stand without this chapter and with fewer references to specific mothers.
The best chapters offer practical advice for other "accidental dads" on how to improve their circumstances and win custody of their children. Dads are told to work hard, to be punctual, not to succumb to negativity or divisiveness, and to act humbly and respectfully in court.
These same chapters explain the legal process of custody disputes, the different forms and motions to file, and selection of and cooperation with attorneys: "The attorney has expertise you don't have, but the attorney can't make an angry, bitter, aggressive father look like Mr. Nice Guy." These informative and helpful chapters steer the book toward the realm of self-help nonfiction.
Photos of McDowell and his son help make Accidental Dad a heartfelt endeavor. Even more than his arguments about the family court system, McDowell's story of trying to be a devoted father--with the odds stacked against him--is moving and inspirational." -Forword Clarion Reviews (Scott Neuffer)
Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
A helpful guide for single fathers
By Linus Messenger
One of the signs of a good book is it engaging you on an emotional level. “Accidental Dad” does this in a way I did not expect. Author Joshua McDowell offers an intimate view into the struggles of a single father and a young parent. Opening with the very large modern problem of teen pregnancy, he goes on to shine light into a broken system of anti-male courts and unjust imprisonment. Through his six years of custody battles and the ire of a “Missy” who clearly has a very large chip on her shoulder, he somehow keeps a forgiving and upbeat attitude. It does in fact seem at times that he is too forgiving and too concerned with the wellbeing of people who have clearly wronged him. His love for his son overshadows this though and is prevalent throughout the entirety of the book. The other major aspect of this book is providing a helpful perspective for other fathers who are struggling through the court system. Offering ideas and examples of things to keep in mind and to help themselves in what is obviously a frustrating and stressful time for any person. His tips for the various aspects of court and the labyrinth of bureaucracy that resides there is helpful to anyone attempting to traverse it, both male and female alike. He ends this with a supporting shoulder for fathers struggling in a modern system. The many organizations he lists and works with could be a godsend to a man who feels that the whole world is working against him. It is clear throughout that this book is meant not for publicity but for providing help to an often overlooked group in our society. I hope anyone going through similar trials and also young people facing the prospect of early fatherhood, will check out this insightful read.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
McDowell manages to always stay empathetic despite the enveloping plight of our human condition whirling around in his private l
By Amazon Delver
Review for '"Accidental Dad'', Joshua McDowell - "As an author who had prior written about his often traumatic and trial some young adulthood, from growing up in a broken home to seeking out a blue collar living- McDowell manages to proliferate a conceptualized lens of what is negative in current times for men facing the the court systems. In tackling the concept of our often unfair, corrupt and industrialized prison complex, the story passes on a universal message of well being and striving for motivation for those who have fallen into similar places in our society- namely for other fathers struggling to find balance and readjust their lives throughout the justice system without losing touch with what is so genuine and important to them- their children. The exploitation that occurs on the level of a failing legal system that stereotypes male-bodied individuals in categorically negative portrayals is almost eclipsed by the authors relentless hope and supporting messages through such experiences. With a vivid base of language and narrative, McDowell manages to always stay empathetic despite the enveloping plight of our human condition whirling around in his private life like some all-afflicting shadow of doubt and trouble. This is certainly a read for anyone who knows someone going through such turmoil, or themselves are in these trials of patience, love and resilience in the face of modern systemic oppression. Anyone who is experiencing this or has a loved one and wishes to better understand this type of worldly trial would do quite well giving this book a thorough, heartwarming read."
Derek A.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
A book written from the heart
By Andrew Hicks
In his deeply informative and eye-opening book Accidental Dad, Joshua McDowell takes us on a journey through his seven-year legal ensnarement for custody of his son. Not only does McDowell expose many of the shortcomings and biases of the legal system that a single man faces to establish paternal rights, he emphatically calls out for positive and balanced change. I truly respect his desire to make a difference, and admire the vulnerability, authenticity, and persistence that it took to write this book.
Accidental Dad is clearly targeted to a very specific audience (accidental dads, of course), and a large portion of the text is devoted to advice on how to navigate the complexities of a custody case. The information here is comprehensive, making it perfectly essential to McDowell's target audience but potentially non-applicable to other readers. While I hope to never engage in a custody case myself, if it ever came to that I could take some heart in knowing that this great resource exists.
If you are a disenfranchised father who has felt stereotyped and disregarded by the courts as a "deadbeat dad," it would behoove you to read McDowell's work. If you are tired of accepting the lopsidedness of the system and want to contribute to one giant leap for fathers everywhere, this book may just be your call to action. I'd encourage you to connect with the author and generate some ideas and plans for social change.
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