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Surviving Your Worst Nightmare: A Guide For the Betrayed, by Patti Snodgrass
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Your wedding vows are broken, and you do not know what lies ahead. You are angry, confused, and fearful. Your self-worth and your confidence have been shattered. You do not know what is the truth and what is a lie. You wonder if the pain in your heart will always be a part of you, and the tears seem to never stop—feelings of despair and hopelessness consume you. I understand all that you are feeling right now, for I too have walked the same path of betrayal that you are on right now.
After my husband confessed his unfaithfulness I struggled to find sanity and clarity; it was all I could do to find ways to overcome my suffering. In my efforts to get answers, I questioned everything. I questioned the past, the present and the future. I was determined to identify the reasons behind my husband’s infidelity so I could move beyond the hurt and devastation that this nightmare had caused. In my quest to find answers I learned that after an act of infidelity, even though I wished it were not so, recovery would take time. I learned that healing would come only when I decided that I was willing to do the hard work of discovering what the after-effects of the betrayal had done to me emotionally, and if I was willing to not run from the pain, or deny the pain, or distract and medicate my pain with various mind-numbing vices. I learned, even though it seemed irrational, that embracing and mourning pain would usher in the healing of my wounded heart. But if I did not, my heart wounds would continue to fester, and I would become an angry, untrusting and cynical person. It would not matter if I chose to stay married or not, the difficult emotional work needed to be done in order for my heart and my mind to heal.
Surviving Your Worst Nightmare: A Guide for the Betrayed is a narrative of my survival journey. You will identify with my grief and confusion during each difficult stage of recovery. As you follow my personal experience with infidelity you will read my private journal entries that describe in detail my anguish, as well as the steps I took to help heal my damaged emotions. You may relate to my “How did I get here?” question and my rants of “Where are you God!” in the midst of such excruciating pain, and you will learn what it took for me to be willing to choose to love, and then decide to trust my husband once again. You will learn as well what I believe to be a leading cause as to why a loved-one would choose to be unfaithful.
My main objective in sharing my healing journey with you is to help bring clarity and stability to your wounded heart. My desire is to come alongside of you to encourage you and to help guide you through the aftershocks of infidelity. I want to offer a lifeline of hope as you struggle to survive the nightmare that is raging in your heart right now. I want you to know that you can survive! Yes, you are changed forever, but this life-changing event is not fatal, and one-day, you will awaken from this betrayal nightmare!
I know you have many choices as to what books you read; I also know how desperate your search is as you try and find someone—something that will help make sense of your life right now. My hope for you is that you will find encouragement and healing in whatever resources you choose as you move forward on your healing journey.
Patti Snodgrass
- Sales Rank: #752068 in eBooks
- Published on: 2016-01-27
- Released on: 2016-01-27
- Format: Kindle eBook
From the Author
In a matter of seconds, as the words of betrayal flowed from my husband's lips my life - the life I had known before no longer existed; it was shattered into a million fragments - altered forever. I remember all too well the intense feelings of fear, anger, confusion and despair. I know how lost the faithful one feels, and how emotionally exhausting each day becomes as they struggle to survive the onslaught of emotions that continually pummel and shock their body - their mind.
Surviving Your Worst Nightmare was written to be a guidebook to the aftershocks of infidelity. With candid vulnerability I share my journal entries, which are interspersed with vignettes of my life to help the reader know that they are not alone in their thinking, and with their feelings. The second my husband confessed his unfaithfulness I had so many questions - so many fears. My insecurities were magnified; I questioned my body image and my mental stability. The reader will relate with me as I question the past and I ponder what might have been. I encourage the reader to be angry, and to also embrace the wide range of emotions as they move forward towards a healthy recovery.
My hope for you, the faithful one, is to bring stability, clarity and hope to your wounded heart as you navigate the painful journey of life after betrayal. Whether you decide to stay in the marriage, or feel it best to move on, Surviving Your Worst Nightmare: A Guide for the Betrayed can help you process your feelings and help you to know that you are not alone on your journey. - Patti Snodgrass
Most helpful customer reviews
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
A must read for betrayed spouses
By Ktnic
I found Patti's book on the first night of discovering my husband's infidelity. This book was literally a God-send to me in my darkest hour, and has been a wonderful guide as I have attempted to sort through all of the pain, grief, anger, and many losses that came as a result of the affair. Patti's vulnereable and honest writing helped me to see that the thoughts and feelings I was having were not crazy, but real, and that these many pains needed to be faced & embraced in order mourn and move on and begin to heal. Throughout reading the book, I felt as though Patti was leading me to the path of healing, as she has walked it herself, reaching back and saying to me, hang in there, you will make it through too! I felt as though I had a friend along this journey, and found relief in knowing I was not alone. Patti's mantra of healing: "face it, embrace it, mourn it, and move on" spoke deeply to my heart, and her description of her own methods of healing have aided my own journey. The heart work exercises at the end of each chapter are a must for all betrayed spouses reading the book. The questions are very thought provoking and take quite a bit of soul-searching and processing. These exercises greatly helped me to begin moving towards healing in the first days and weeks of recovery, and I will be referring back to this book for many months to come. I'm very thankful that I discovered this book, and will be giving it a high recommendation to my support group of other betrayed spouses.
13 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Amazing...
By T. Riley
Wow. What depth... what insight... what transparency... what courage. This book is a must-read for, not only someone who has been betrayed, but for anyone who is in relationship with people at all! The author really gave insight into the hard work, the pain that must be faced head-on, and the courage and determination it takes to persevere through the devastation of betrayal or rejection in a relationship - and the great HOPE that comes with it. I found that this really does apply to anyone in marriage, because without being gut-level honest, lamenting, being transparent and vulnerable, forgiving, and obeying, we truly won't make it - at least not to the fulfillment and blessings that God has for us in relationship - especially a broken one. The lessons she laid out for us were truly life lessons for all. She really showed us how to lament. The word lament literally means a deep-gutted cry that is rooted in a deep belief in a good God that is near and able to turn that which is ugly into GREAT BEAUTY. The author gave us a gut-wrenching, but beautiful lesson in lamenting. As she walked the hard road (the authentic Christian road), and though, indeed, it was a long one, she did have the privilege of seeing God turn ugly into great beauty. This book is really a book about the great cost of doing life as an authentic Christian, and the great promises and blessings that come with that - given to us by our amazing Savior.
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
A must read for all who have "broken parts"
By CHMckellar
After reading many books on forgiveness, recovery, relationships, communication styles, personality disorders etc. and actively working with a counselor for almost 3 years, Surviving Your Worst Nightmare is now on the top of my list of resources that I will refer to over and over again and will recommend to anyone who has or is living with the excruciating heartache of betrayal. Intertwined within the pages of this amazing book, whether you are the betrayed or the betrayer, you WILL find hope, healing and a road map that gives clear direction leading to recovery.
I cannot adequately express how much this book has impacted me. It was as if my own words/thoughts were staring back at me as I read Patti's journal entries. The honesty, grace, humility and courage that Patti poured out and onto the pages of this book is incredible. With such tenderness of spirit this story of heart pain was told so that I might have the chance to live my life in freedom and in truth.
Thank you, Patti for listening to the voice of God and for caring about "us".
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